6 Days Post Op

Okay so I will freely admit that I might have overdone it yesterday. The upping and downing of the stairs, the walking to the fire hydrant, the uh, Wii-ing. I was basically forbidden to move from the first floor today after I had breakfast and have only escaped on the pretext that I will be "changing my clothes." (wink, wink, nudge, nudge.) I felt like I was pretty much hit by a truck by the end of the day. See that? You feel good? Do less. Don't do more. Actually do less.

Passed a good night's sleep again last night (YAY!) Less fluid in my drain this morning (about 10 ccs) and my period is OVER (give me a freakin' high five for that one please!) So I'm at the point now where I'm not feeling brutally bad and that may turn into the eventually forgetting about how excruciating the first 4 days really were - which I CANNOT do. I wanted to ensure that when I wrote about this experience that I did not pull my punches so that people could actually get a true and timely account of the experience - which if one does in retrospect is not going to fully demonstrate the brutality of what I have voluntarily done to my body in the search for less squooshiness in the abdominal region. Most of the accounts that I read said things like "Those first days are difficult, but it's totally worth it," "The discomfort was worse the first 3 days," "I had trouble pooping." Which are all true statement but do not get to the crux of the matter.

So here it is: The pain was not just bad - it is your worst period ever - poorest dental surgery - two vertebrae out in your neck, dealing with Third World water, having had your first training session with a personal trainer who got you to run up and down the stairs of your house 68 times in one day BAD. In fact it was worse than all of that because you were trapped on your back like an overturned tortoise, couldn't move on your own, if you laugh (and still now laugh) the pain is blinding and you're terrified that that tickle in your throat may actually force you to cough because a simple cough can make you cry it hurts so much. I don't want to sugar coat any of this because when you choose to make a decision like this you really need to know. You need to know that potentially, that entire first 7 week - that's 168 hours folks, you are nearly helpless AND you have a drain (perhaps two) hanging out of your healing incision that has blood and fluid and body tissue bits in it that you have to measure and then deposit into your toilet every twelve hours. You are on pain medication that constipates you and makes you all muzzy headed, in that "What the hell am I doing here? Who is that kid standing in my room?" way.

And you need to know this sort of stuff so that you can possibly purchase the dozen pair of SPANX and try them out before you make a decision like this. I have no doubt that more than likely by next week even I'll be able stand fairly tall, and the swelling in my lower abdomen will have probably disappeared and I may be marvelling at my naked stature in the mirror thinking "Check out that cool new belly button!" Perhaps I should be looking at this process like childbirth that you go through all the pain of labour and delivery but at the end you have this amazing child to adore and snuggle with. Maybe I will be adoring and snuggling with my stomach. It's just that for any of you who are contemplating this, you need to know. YOU NEED TO KNOW. Do not make the decision lightly - think it through - remember bloody fluid and body tissue bits. I had thought this through - went into it expecting the worst and hoping for the best and those first days? Were pretty freakin' bad. And really who is in labour and delivery for 96 hours straight? People need to know that.

That being said, I wasn't completely in a codeine coma for the first several days (mostly on the advice of the surgeon who didn't want me to get all backed up) and my first ENTIRELY sleepless night as a result of the codeine with caffeine probably didn't help my healing process move along quickly. Perhaps if I had been in a drug-induced coma I would be singing a different tune here, but that wasn't for me and YOU NEED TO KNOW - because all those retrospective journal entries are not giving you the skinny.

Oh and passing gas? Had I mentioned that? The fumes emitting from my nether regions are not pleasant. My stomach is sometimes numb, sometimes painful, swollen, warm to the touch and has pins and needles. I just wanted to be sure that I wrote all that stuff down too - not to be one of those negativey-negative people, but to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about this type of surgery, because we should do that for each other, right?

Now that I have vented my spleen - I am going to powder my hooha, change my clothes, do my hair, get rid of the dark circles under my eyes with some coverup and read a little bit more before my Book Club sisters get here. Cause tonight we're talking about the Twilight Series and I get to be in love with a 17 year old vampire for the night. I just have to remember not to laugh a lot 'cause it could kill me.

Cheers!
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