I have made it to the three week mark. Before I actually blog I want to put some good vibes out there for Andrea Ross - Andrea you are healthy in body, mind and spirit!
I remain relatively sane (apart from the wanting to cry over spilled yogurt earlier in the week) and in next to no pain now. Sneezing is now manageable. I've really been taking it easy this week so that I don't balloon up with fluid. You'd think that with all this dedicated sitting on my ass time I'd have finished one of the novels I'm working on. I haven't. I'm procrastinating in a major way. I'm not sure why. I just find it so much easier to play Scramble on Facebook and do the music trainer programs that I found online. There's this incredibly cool site where you can test yourself on keys, notes and keyboard knowledge. http://www.8notes.com/games/I've been spending lots (and I mean LOTS) of time on it since its discovery. I am determined to teach myself how to read music. Well, with the help of David who can actually read music. I'm pretty good at the treble and bass clefs, but my brain does turn to mush after doing it for awhile. You're probably not supposed to do it for over an hour at a time. See? Major procrastination.
Went to my second rehearsal for Sweeney Todd last night. Nice to be able to sing without straining my stomach muscles. Did some minor blocking and bugged out early. The Beggar Woman doesn't do much other than skulk around - figured out my blocking and walked home in the nice cool October air. It's so nice to be able to stand up tall once more - not quite at the point where I can arch my back, but it's so much better than it was!
The Neo Citrin and sleeping pills alternated with the Neo Citrin and valerian have been helping me deal with my cold and sleeplessness. Last night I tried for the first time to sleep on my back sans wedge pillow with just two pillows under my knees. Fell asleep just fine, but the pillows shifted and my back and stomach were a bit sore this morning. I'm going to try tying the pillows together for tonight so that they'll stay put.
Today I've been using an icepack on top of the binder. I don't know if it's doing any good, but it sure feels nice. I mean, I'm just sitting here, I may as well multi-task while typing.
I really need to wash the binder. There's a bit of a conundrum though. I can't dry it in the dryer, so that means that I'm relegated to the wearing of control top panties while it dries and the elasticity of all of those types of panties isn't anywhere close to the firm elasticity of the binder. Maybe if I wash the binder right before bed one night and leave it to dry on the radiator while I just sleep in the panties? Maybe if wear two pairs of those panties? This is what I have been reduced to - pantie talk. Yeesh. I have to say that I'm looking forward to the days (in 3 short weeks) when I'll be able to wear regular underwear. This isn't unlike those last few weeks of pregnancy - the waiting. I'm waiting to see what the Doc will say on Tuesday. I'm waiting to wear regular panties. I'm waiting to do sit ups. I'm waiting for my scar to heal, for my belly button stitches to properly dissolve.
What a luxurious position I'm in. I'm allowed to watch tv and read and blog all day if I want - I need a perspective shift. I'm doing what needs to be done for me right now. The more I stick to what I should be doing, the less time the healing will take. Other people have so much worse shit to be dealing with. It's time to get a grip and suck it up. If this is the most terrible thing to be troubling me? I've got a pretty freaking good life. It's good to remember that.
Okay, before I forget... I was reading another person's blog about her tummy tuck. This girl is now planning on getting pregnant. It is strongly recommended that you should NEVER have a tummy tuck if you are planning to get pregnant after that - all that recuperation will have been for naught. I guess if you've got unlimited funds and you don't mind having to go through this sort of painful thing all over again, but really? This sort of operation is for when you have FINISHED having kids - or you never plan on having them. Why would anyone ever do this twice? I guess if you happen to have an OB and a plastic surgeon in the family you could have a c-section/tummy tuck at the same time the second time around, but... nuh-unh once is definitely enough for me.
Cheers!
Heather
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
19 Days Post Op
Yesterday I was feeling pretty darned good and went for a walk with David all the way down to the marina and back. Then last night I went out for a girls' night to see Whip It (excellent film I've decided that my roller derby name will be Red Zeppelin) with some friends. Sitting mostly straight up wasn't too bad. When I got home last night I decided to take a gander at my tummy and noticed that right above my incision my skin wasn't as tight and was a little warm to the touch. When I showed David he poked around a bit to feel the difference at my midline and around my hips and said "Yeah, you seem more swollen here." Then he gave me his best "What have I been telling you?" look. (A look that I have seen many times during the course of this recovery - three times this morning alone.)
It was agreed (he ordered me) that I would call the Doc this morning and ask what I should do - I had a sneaky suspicion that I might need to be aspirated. I walked 4 blocks towards Rissa's school today whereupon I acquiesced and turned around to come home. I started the laundry that David had brought down for me. This process involved a lot of squatting up and down so that I wasn't carrying lots of clothing weight in my arms, which probably isn't good for me either. (It's only laundry for heaven's sake!)
At 9:02 a.m. I called the Doc's office and spoke to Jane (the receptionist) and gave her my symptoms and HURRAH! she said that it was normal and not to worry. She recommended that I take it easy and that I have the binder as tight as I can stand it so that what fluid is there can be reabsorbed. I have an appointment for next Tuesday, but if anything changes - if I'm in pain or it gets red or I have a fever I should call immediately. So that's good news. She did reiterate that I should limit my activity until then.
Okay, may I just say that I may go squirrely before the 4-week mark? I am not a sitter-downer, a lounger or a recliner. I like to move and now that my energy level is better I'm having a hard time with the little to no movement orders. I understand that my body is still healing and that I need to give it time and I wouldn't be so upset if my lack of exercise wasn't affecting my sleep. This morning I did not have my one coffee so that there wouldn't be any extra caffeine in my system - which I hope might help me when it comes time to turn the lights off. I had to take 2 Valerian last night and it still took awhile for me to fall asleep. David's going to source some more non-prescription sleeping aids for me after school today.
My mid-morning snack almost made me lose it. I had a bowl of granola and yogurt on the shelf that I am using as a table on the recliner, and as I was moving it to the side so that I could lower myself into the recliner it tipped over and there was granola and yogurt all over the carpet in the family room. ALL OVER. And I'm NOT supposed to vacuum. So the granola is still all over the carpet. I did grab a cloth to wipe up the yogurt, but I'll bet there's still some yogurt lurking in there, just waiting to get smelly. And I'm not allowed to clean it. And that makes me a little cuckoo. Because I feel like I'm okay, I'm not exhausted, it doesn't hurt to get up - there's only moderate discomfort when I sneeze now - and really, I think that I am doing pretty darned well except for this little squooshy bit of stomach - I swear that it's only about an inch wide by six inches long - it could be so much worse... and I feel like I can handle doing a half hour's walk and I know that it would help me sleep, but I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO!
So now that I have done my best impression of a peevish sheep I shall now talk about what is really good... This morning I was able to lie on my side for more than 5 minutes! I got to snuggle with David, actually spoon with him this morning and that was pretty freaking awesome I have to say. And because I'm not supposed to do anything active, perhaps I can practice the lying on my side as my exercise for the next week and a half until I get to the 4-week mark. And maybe David might even be able to spoon me (I don't even mean that as a euphemism - I really just want to spoon) and that would be the absolutely best!
Cheers!
Heather
It was agreed (he ordered me) that I would call the Doc this morning and ask what I should do - I had a sneaky suspicion that I might need to be aspirated. I walked 4 blocks towards Rissa's school today whereupon I acquiesced and turned around to come home. I started the laundry that David had brought down for me. This process involved a lot of squatting up and down so that I wasn't carrying lots of clothing weight in my arms, which probably isn't good for me either. (It's only laundry for heaven's sake!)
At 9:02 a.m. I called the Doc's office and spoke to Jane (the receptionist) and gave her my symptoms and HURRAH! she said that it was normal and not to worry. She recommended that I take it easy and that I have the binder as tight as I can stand it so that what fluid is there can be reabsorbed. I have an appointment for next Tuesday, but if anything changes - if I'm in pain or it gets red or I have a fever I should call immediately. So that's good news. She did reiterate that I should limit my activity until then.
Okay, may I just say that I may go squirrely before the 4-week mark? I am not a sitter-downer, a lounger or a recliner. I like to move and now that my energy level is better I'm having a hard time with the little to no movement orders. I understand that my body is still healing and that I need to give it time and I wouldn't be so upset if my lack of exercise wasn't affecting my sleep. This morning I did not have my one coffee so that there wouldn't be any extra caffeine in my system - which I hope might help me when it comes time to turn the lights off. I had to take 2 Valerian last night and it still took awhile for me to fall asleep. David's going to source some more non-prescription sleeping aids for me after school today.
My mid-morning snack almost made me lose it. I had a bowl of granola and yogurt on the shelf that I am using as a table on the recliner, and as I was moving it to the side so that I could lower myself into the recliner it tipped over and there was granola and yogurt all over the carpet in the family room. ALL OVER. And I'm NOT supposed to vacuum. So the granola is still all over the carpet. I did grab a cloth to wipe up the yogurt, but I'll bet there's still some yogurt lurking in there, just waiting to get smelly. And I'm not allowed to clean it. And that makes me a little cuckoo. Because I feel like I'm okay, I'm not exhausted, it doesn't hurt to get up - there's only moderate discomfort when I sneeze now - and really, I think that I am doing pretty darned well except for this little squooshy bit of stomach - I swear that it's only about an inch wide by six inches long - it could be so much worse... and I feel like I can handle doing a half hour's walk and I know that it would help me sleep, but I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO!
So now that I have done my best impression of a peevish sheep I shall now talk about what is really good... This morning I was able to lie on my side for more than 5 minutes! I got to snuggle with David, actually spoon with him this morning and that was pretty freaking awesome I have to say. And because I'm not supposed to do anything active, perhaps I can practice the lying on my side as my exercise for the next week and a half until I get to the 4-week mark. And maybe David might even be able to spoon me (I don't even mean that as a euphemism - I really just want to spoon) and that would be the absolutely best!
Cheers!
Heather
Sunday, October 11, 2009
17 Days Post Op
Wonderful Thanksgiving dinner yesterday - I am a spoiled rotten bunny whose mother is one of the best cooks in the galaxy.
Today I enjoyed another shower and I am pleased to report that my stomach is not quite as numb. I was able to wash my own incision and belly button with only moderate grossing out. My body continues to be bruised both above and below the incision line. This is to be expected, from all reports. The incision is red and angry looking. And why wouldn't it be? That's a lot of skin to be stitched together no wonder it shouts "GRRRRRR!"
I remain quite impressed with how small the actual scar is. By that I mean its width, not the 19 inch length. I have many scars on my body. I was a terribly accident prone child. In my scarring I have varying degrees of attractiveness. The scar on my chin from when I split my chin open is very fine (maybe 2 mm), the one on my ankle from when I fell through the glass table is wider (maybe 6-7 mm). I was kind of expecting this scar to resemble more the 4-5 mm, but right now it looks fairly tight and in the 2 mm mark.
Another thing that I've noticed now that I'm not overly creeped out by looking at my body, is that the scar itself stretches across the entire front of my body to pretty much the midline of my hips. From the side view you will definitely notice the tail ends of the scar wending their way across my body. As I had a lot of extra skin and tissue in the front the Doc probably had to cut a little wider so that I wouldn't end up with pleats in my stitches. It will apparently take several months (maybe as many as 6-9) before the scar will flatten out and become less noticeable.
After my first pregnancy when I gained 50 lbs, it took me 4 years to truly get back into shape. Four long years at varying degrees of exercising and healthful eating. I remember when I did finally get back down to my regular weight (which is probably around 150 lbs) that people would ask me "How did you do it? Are you doing Atkins? No carbs?" They were invariably stunned when I would say "I'm eating sensibly and exercising more."
There are no quick fixes to anything. There is no magic pill, no one exercise you can do. You can't lose fat in one spot. It all takes time if you're going to maintain your body and health afterward. This is no different. I will still have months of recuperation from this. Possibly a year before I'm completely happy with the results. Yes, with the operation I immediately lost approximately 3 lbs of skin and tissue but this stomach will take months to heal.
I was always a girl who would suck in. Always. I spent YEARS sucking in. I blame it on the spring that I stole money from my parents (and any visiting relative) when I was 11. I stole money and because I couldn't purchase anything with it to actually HAVE as a souvenir, I went to the Tasty Twirl on the main street and I had ice cream. Every day. For around 8 weeks. And that is officially when I began to have issues with my weight. Crime does not pay. At some point around that time I stopped listening to my internal voice that told me when I was full. Possibly through an addiction to the fat and sugar in all those soft ice cream cones that I ingested, or maybe just laziness. Interestingly enough I think it was that summer too when I started to suffer from bouts of depression.
It always amazes me that Rissa can have a piece of cake in front of her - a piece of decadent chocolate cake with delectable icing slathered all over it and she can have 2 bites and be done. She is still listening to her body. She's 9. I've had to relearn that instinct. Having been brought up in the generation of "Clean your plate, or you don't get dessert," I am quite accustomed to eating everything in my sight. As a mother it gets worse because you inevitably finish what is on your child's plate as well so that the food is not wasted. For the past several months I've been trying to listen to that internal voice letting me know that I am done, that I no longer need to fill my stomach. It's called mindful eating. If I want to ensure that this stomach that I have bought and paid for does not morph back into something that I am ashamed of, I have to pay attention. I have to be proactive. I have to be present and listen to my body.
I started having dizzy spells when I was 14 years old. Hypo Glycemia was bandied about, but I have never been officially diagnosed as having the condition. Only last year did I acknowledge that when I eat foods that are bad for me, I pay a price. I had known that for me sugar was not good. I had known simple carbohydrates were not good. Yet, I continued to eat them and always suffered for it.
I now know some things: To maintain my blood sugar, I need to snack throughout the day. Just little bits of food - some protein with some carbohydrates, not more than 200 calories, but if I don't snack, I either get completely loopy or feel nauseated. I can't have caffeine after noon. If I do, I can't sleep at night. Not sleeping at night affects me to such an extent that I had to make a change and I now avoid caffeine. I know that I can get drunk on a caramel sundae by the third swallow. Now every once in a while, I'm still choosing to have that caramel sundae - but I am choosing that and I fully recognize that when I make that choice I'm pretty much out of commission after I do.
You hit your late 30s and early 40s and you have to take stock. Do you want to be that 60 year old who can't move because of arthritis and bursitis and rheumatism? Do you want to have problems with cholesterol? Do you want to be that statistical 52 year old who dies of a heart attack? I decided that I didn't. I want to be that 85 year old who people marvel at - like my own Granny who is 101 now. I want to remain active and still be walking my 5-10 k in a morning. I want to devour LIFE - not food.
Whoa. That was quite a tangent, wasn't it? Not a lot of that had to do with the tummy tuck. But it had to do with choices. I made a choice to have a tummy tuck, and it's just one of the choices that I have made and will continue to make to keep myself healthy.
Cheers!
Heather
Today I enjoyed another shower and I am pleased to report that my stomach is not quite as numb. I was able to wash my own incision and belly button with only moderate grossing out. My body continues to be bruised both above and below the incision line. This is to be expected, from all reports. The incision is red and angry looking. And why wouldn't it be? That's a lot of skin to be stitched together no wonder it shouts "GRRRRRR!"
I remain quite impressed with how small the actual scar is. By that I mean its width, not the 19 inch length. I have many scars on my body. I was a terribly accident prone child. In my scarring I have varying degrees of attractiveness. The scar on my chin from when I split my chin open is very fine (maybe 2 mm), the one on my ankle from when I fell through the glass table is wider (maybe 6-7 mm). I was kind of expecting this scar to resemble more the 4-5 mm, but right now it looks fairly tight and in the 2 mm mark.
Another thing that I've noticed now that I'm not overly creeped out by looking at my body, is that the scar itself stretches across the entire front of my body to pretty much the midline of my hips. From the side view you will definitely notice the tail ends of the scar wending their way across my body. As I had a lot of extra skin and tissue in the front the Doc probably had to cut a little wider so that I wouldn't end up with pleats in my stitches. It will apparently take several months (maybe as many as 6-9) before the scar will flatten out and become less noticeable.
After my first pregnancy when I gained 50 lbs, it took me 4 years to truly get back into shape. Four long years at varying degrees of exercising and healthful eating. I remember when I did finally get back down to my regular weight (which is probably around 150 lbs) that people would ask me "How did you do it? Are you doing Atkins? No carbs?" They were invariably stunned when I would say "I'm eating sensibly and exercising more."
There are no quick fixes to anything. There is no magic pill, no one exercise you can do. You can't lose fat in one spot. It all takes time if you're going to maintain your body and health afterward. This is no different. I will still have months of recuperation from this. Possibly a year before I'm completely happy with the results. Yes, with the operation I immediately lost approximately 3 lbs of skin and tissue but this stomach will take months to heal.
I was always a girl who would suck in. Always. I spent YEARS sucking in. I blame it on the spring that I stole money from my parents (and any visiting relative) when I was 11. I stole money and because I couldn't purchase anything with it to actually HAVE as a souvenir, I went to the Tasty Twirl on the main street and I had ice cream. Every day. For around 8 weeks. And that is officially when I began to have issues with my weight. Crime does not pay. At some point around that time I stopped listening to my internal voice that told me when I was full. Possibly through an addiction to the fat and sugar in all those soft ice cream cones that I ingested, or maybe just laziness. Interestingly enough I think it was that summer too when I started to suffer from bouts of depression.
It always amazes me that Rissa can have a piece of cake in front of her - a piece of decadent chocolate cake with delectable icing slathered all over it and she can have 2 bites and be done. She is still listening to her body. She's 9. I've had to relearn that instinct. Having been brought up in the generation of "Clean your plate, or you don't get dessert," I am quite accustomed to eating everything in my sight. As a mother it gets worse because you inevitably finish what is on your child's plate as well so that the food is not wasted. For the past several months I've been trying to listen to that internal voice letting me know that I am done, that I no longer need to fill my stomach. It's called mindful eating. If I want to ensure that this stomach that I have bought and paid for does not morph back into something that I am ashamed of, I have to pay attention. I have to be proactive. I have to be present and listen to my body.
I started having dizzy spells when I was 14 years old. Hypo Glycemia was bandied about, but I have never been officially diagnosed as having the condition. Only last year did I acknowledge that when I eat foods that are bad for me, I pay a price. I had known that for me sugar was not good. I had known simple carbohydrates were not good. Yet, I continued to eat them and always suffered for it.
I now know some things: To maintain my blood sugar, I need to snack throughout the day. Just little bits of food - some protein with some carbohydrates, not more than 200 calories, but if I don't snack, I either get completely loopy or feel nauseated. I can't have caffeine after noon. If I do, I can't sleep at night. Not sleeping at night affects me to such an extent that I had to make a change and I now avoid caffeine. I know that I can get drunk on a caramel sundae by the third swallow. Now every once in a while, I'm still choosing to have that caramel sundae - but I am choosing that and I fully recognize that when I make that choice I'm pretty much out of commission after I do.
You hit your late 30s and early 40s and you have to take stock. Do you want to be that 60 year old who can't move because of arthritis and bursitis and rheumatism? Do you want to have problems with cholesterol? Do you want to be that statistical 52 year old who dies of a heart attack? I decided that I didn't. I want to be that 85 year old who people marvel at - like my own Granny who is 101 now. I want to remain active and still be walking my 5-10 k in a morning. I want to devour LIFE - not food.
Whoa. That was quite a tangent, wasn't it? Not a lot of that had to do with the tummy tuck. But it had to do with choices. I made a choice to have a tummy tuck, and it's just one of the choices that I have made and will continue to make to keep myself healthy.
Cheers!
Heather
Saturday, October 10, 2009
16 Days Post Op
I am almost standing completely straight! Or at least to an outside viewer that's what it looks like. Numbness in the tummy continues to freak me out, but this standing up straighter thing is pretty freakin' great! I can't arch my back yet and last night I woke in some discomfort due to my shifting position in bed. We brought the wedge pillows with us to my parents' house, but sometime in the night my back skootched down and my knees becamse flatter and then my tummy started saying "Hey! Hey you there, sleeping - I'm not ready for this much flatness in bed! Skootch the ?!&^# up!" By that time it was 6:52 and I could hear my Mom downstairs making the coffee so I couldn't get back to sleep - I might miss something. Every visit to my parents' place seems like Christmas. I've gotta say that enjoying time spent with relatives is a beautiful thing!! And I'm lucky in that regard on SO many levels!
Double checked with David and he thinks that some of the swelling has gone down, but I definitely remain swollen both above and below the incision. I got him to push against my pubic bone today and he confirmed that it has more, uh, padding there then it usually has. How many other husbands out there do this for their wives? As soon as I am physically able, this man is going to... well let's just say I hope to make him happy in MANY ways.
Yesterday I did try to take it easy. I truncated my morning walk, I tried not to get up and down so much, except that I kept forgetting to have stuff on the table next to my recliner. I forgot the phone and had to get up for it. I forgot the remote and had to get up for it. I forgot my glasses, my water and arnica pellets. (All at different times.) Maybe some of my brain was sucked out in the drain too? Babysat a miniatrue schnauzer named Ziggy yesterday who was terrorized by Colby but then in turn terrorized Minuit - so I guess the circle of life is alive and well in our home. I wrote 2 pages in my vampire novel - I think that watching True Blood has been helpful - of course it's all research ;-)
We travelled the 2 1/4 hours to my parents' place last night after Rissa's dance classes. In spite of being able to recline in the front seat, not have my knees up made the journey a bit difficult. I could really feel my tummy by the time we got to my parents' house. I showed off my battle scars and Mom was impressed with how much I had improved in the last week - so that's good.
Today we will be preparing the Thanksgiving dinner - I'm making my sweet potato casserole - which is about the best thing ever. It's so yummy that I frequently eat the leftovers for breakfast . You take 3-4 cups of mashed sweet potatoes, 1/4 c butter/ margarine (I use less) some white sugar (1/3 cup or less), 2 eggs, some vanilla, 1/2 tsp of nutmeg and 1/2 tsp cinnamon, pinch of salt. Top it with a mixture of 1/4 c butter (I use less) , 1/4 c flour and 1/2 cup of brown sugar (I use less) - I add in another 1/2 cup of ground pecans as well for protein and you bake it for 30 minutes at 350. It is to die for and I'm sure realtively good for you because of all of the anti-oxidents in the sweet potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving!
Cheers!
Heather
Double checked with David and he thinks that some of the swelling has gone down, but I definitely remain swollen both above and below the incision. I got him to push against my pubic bone today and he confirmed that it has more, uh, padding there then it usually has. How many other husbands out there do this for their wives? As soon as I am physically able, this man is going to... well let's just say I hope to make him happy in MANY ways.
Yesterday I did try to take it easy. I truncated my morning walk, I tried not to get up and down so much, except that I kept forgetting to have stuff on the table next to my recliner. I forgot the phone and had to get up for it. I forgot the remote and had to get up for it. I forgot my glasses, my water and arnica pellets. (All at different times.) Maybe some of my brain was sucked out in the drain too? Babysat a miniatrue schnauzer named Ziggy yesterday who was terrorized by Colby but then in turn terrorized Minuit - so I guess the circle of life is alive and well in our home. I wrote 2 pages in my vampire novel - I think that watching True Blood has been helpful - of course it's all research ;-)
We travelled the 2 1/4 hours to my parents' place last night after Rissa's dance classes. In spite of being able to recline in the front seat, not have my knees up made the journey a bit difficult. I could really feel my tummy by the time we got to my parents' house. I showed off my battle scars and Mom was impressed with how much I had improved in the last week - so that's good.
Today we will be preparing the Thanksgiving dinner - I'm making my sweet potato casserole - which is about the best thing ever. It's so yummy that I frequently eat the leftovers for breakfast . You take 3-4 cups of mashed sweet potatoes, 1/4 c butter/ margarine (I use less) some white sugar (1/3 cup or less), 2 eggs, some vanilla, 1/2 tsp of nutmeg and 1/2 tsp cinnamon, pinch of salt. Top it with a mixture of 1/4 c butter (I use less) , 1/4 c flour and 1/2 cup of brown sugar (I use less) - I add in another 1/2 cup of ground pecans as well for protein and you bake it for 30 minutes at 350. It is to die for and I'm sure realtively good for you because of all of the anti-oxidents in the sweet potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving!
Cheers!
Heather
Thursday, October 8, 2009
14 Days Post Op
I just stepped from my first shower. Bliss! Unadulterated warm watered bliss! Amidst the unadulterated warm watered bliss I had a minor, (okay, major) case of the ICKS. Had not realized the extent to which my stomach was numb. I mean, it's REALLY numb. I was reaching down to wash my belly button as instructed by the Doc and I can't feel my belly button. I'm touching my own body and I can't feel it. It's giving me the heebie jeebies. David had to wash my incision and I just looked away so I would hurl my dinner on him. I don't know why it's so creepy, but it's really freakin' creepy. I can remember getting this feeling to a lesser extent with the inch long scar that I have on my ankle when I would touch it, but this? This is creeperiffic. I'm not sure, but I think that David was looking at me in both exasperation and disbelief. I might be projecting.
Rissa's pretty grossed out and definitely has that "My mother is a medical experiment gone bad" vibe going on. She has reiterated a half a dozen times since seeing the results that she will NOT be having a tummy tuck. EVER. Although she has said it is neat that I'm her own personal crash test dummy - I get to try out all the really dumb stuff so that she doesn't have to. Took pictures of the "after" - will post them soon. I'm still swollen, especially on my lower tummy and my pubic bone. I'm thinking that tonight I will put an ice pack on my pubic bone at least. There is also some swelling and minor bruising on my hips and (TMI coming up here) I think that the binder might be rubbing away some of my pubic hair. The incision is as nice as a 20 inch (I'm guessing) incision can look at 2 weeks out. It's got a little curve to it that I kind of like and should I decide to turn it into a 20 inch tattooo it could look pretty cool - I'm thinking vines... (really I'm NOT).
Last night I had my first rehearsal for Sweeney Todd where I play the role of the Beggar Woman. All I had to do was sit and sing for 2 1/2 hours. Well that and I had to climb 3 sets of stairs to get to the rehearsal hall. By the end of it I was exhausted. More exhausted than at any other point in this process. I was trying not to use my diaphragm to sing, but there's really no way that you can do that. I begged for a ride home in spite of the fact that it's only a five minute walk. You know I'm toast when I voluntarily ask for help. I crashed upon returning home and it took me a while to get up this morning.
I went for a small walk this morning and had lunch with a friend at a great Thai place in town. I took my substantial leftovers home. That's something else that has changed. Because my muscles are so tight across my stomach, I'm not eating as much now. I simply can't. I mean, not that I was a big gorger before (apart from around my period) but now a cup of soup and some crackers can really fill me up. So that's a good side effect. Also, taking multi-vitamins three times a day is wrecking havoc with my digestion - half the time I'm combatting nausea.
I think tomorrow I'm going to try not doing anything and see if that helps with the swelling. No walks around the block, no climbing stairs all day, no squatting to feed the cats... And then I'll just see. I'll see if that makes a difference with the swelling or if this is just how my recovery is supposed to be. In about 4 weeks time I have the opportunity to do a clowning workshop with my old Shakespeare company in Ottawa. According to the Doc I should be healed with no worries of hurting myself at that point - just no situps - and should be able to manage depending on my stamina. I really want to do this workshop. I haven't done any acting training in over a decade and it'd be really nice to flex those muscles once more and even better to do it with old friends. As long as I can sit down whenever I need to I should be okay I think - I'd really like to try.
Last night David gave me my first official music lesson on the piano. I've always wanted to learn to read music properly, so last night I started. A scale is this: tone, tone, semi-tone, tone, tone, tone, semi-tone. I can now tell you where all the "c" notes and "f" notes are on the piano. This morning I took some music paper and I started naming the notes on the staff. Over and over again I wrote out EGBDF and FACE. This healing process where I'm not allowed to do anything truly active? It's offering me the opportunity to do something that I've been putting off for years. Today I found a couple of web sites that have training tools that quiz you on notes and key signatures and I must have spent 2 hours testing myself. Today I learned the bass clef and the treble clef and that's pretty cool, I've got to say. And if I didn't have this medically imposed respite? I might not have ever tried this.
We're heading to my parents' place for Thanksgiving. They live 2 1/4 hours away so I'll get to tilt my seat back and recline all the way there. I have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful to be alive. I'm thankful that my recuperation is getting better and better. I'm thankful to my surgeon who did a pretty amazing job I think - even at this early stage. I'm thankful for my amazing husband and daughter and mother and all my friends and family who have been incredibly supportive during this experience.
Cheers!
Heather
Rissa's pretty grossed out and definitely has that "My mother is a medical experiment gone bad" vibe going on. She has reiterated a half a dozen times since seeing the results that she will NOT be having a tummy tuck. EVER. Although she has said it is neat that I'm her own personal crash test dummy - I get to try out all the really dumb stuff so that she doesn't have to. Took pictures of the "after" - will post them soon. I'm still swollen, especially on my lower tummy and my pubic bone. I'm thinking that tonight I will put an ice pack on my pubic bone at least. There is also some swelling and minor bruising on my hips and (TMI coming up here) I think that the binder might be rubbing away some of my pubic hair. The incision is as nice as a 20 inch (I'm guessing) incision can look at 2 weeks out. It's got a little curve to it that I kind of like and should I decide to turn it into a 20 inch tattooo it could look pretty cool - I'm thinking vines... (really I'm NOT).
Last night I had my first rehearsal for Sweeney Todd where I play the role of the Beggar Woman. All I had to do was sit and sing for 2 1/2 hours. Well that and I had to climb 3 sets of stairs to get to the rehearsal hall. By the end of it I was exhausted. More exhausted than at any other point in this process. I was trying not to use my diaphragm to sing, but there's really no way that you can do that. I begged for a ride home in spite of the fact that it's only a five minute walk. You know I'm toast when I voluntarily ask for help. I crashed upon returning home and it took me a while to get up this morning.
I went for a small walk this morning and had lunch with a friend at a great Thai place in town. I took my substantial leftovers home. That's something else that has changed. Because my muscles are so tight across my stomach, I'm not eating as much now. I simply can't. I mean, not that I was a big gorger before (apart from around my period) but now a cup of soup and some crackers can really fill me up. So that's a good side effect. Also, taking multi-vitamins three times a day is wrecking havoc with my digestion - half the time I'm combatting nausea.
I think tomorrow I'm going to try not doing anything and see if that helps with the swelling. No walks around the block, no climbing stairs all day, no squatting to feed the cats... And then I'll just see. I'll see if that makes a difference with the swelling or if this is just how my recovery is supposed to be. In about 4 weeks time I have the opportunity to do a clowning workshop with my old Shakespeare company in Ottawa. According to the Doc I should be healed with no worries of hurting myself at that point - just no situps - and should be able to manage depending on my stamina. I really want to do this workshop. I haven't done any acting training in over a decade and it'd be really nice to flex those muscles once more and even better to do it with old friends. As long as I can sit down whenever I need to I should be okay I think - I'd really like to try.
Last night David gave me my first official music lesson on the piano. I've always wanted to learn to read music properly, so last night I started. A scale is this: tone, tone, semi-tone, tone, tone, tone, semi-tone. I can now tell you where all the "c" notes and "f" notes are on the piano. This morning I took some music paper and I started naming the notes on the staff. Over and over again I wrote out EGBDF and FACE. This healing process where I'm not allowed to do anything truly active? It's offering me the opportunity to do something that I've been putting off for years. Today I found a couple of web sites that have training tools that quiz you on notes and key signatures and I must have spent 2 hours testing myself. Today I learned the bass clef and the treble clef and that's pretty cool, I've got to say. And if I didn't have this medically imposed respite? I might not have ever tried this.
We're heading to my parents' place for Thanksgiving. They live 2 1/4 hours away so I'll get to tilt my seat back and recline all the way there. I have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful to be alive. I'm thankful that my recuperation is getting better and better. I'm thankful to my surgeon who did a pretty amazing job I think - even at this early stage. I'm thankful for my amazing husband and daughter and mother and all my friends and family who have been incredibly supportive during this experience.
Cheers!
Heather
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
13 Days Post Op
I am ever so pleased to report that the surgeon took the drain out yesterday. Whoo-hoo! She got me to lie flat on the examining table whereupon it was confirmed that I still cannot yet be completely straight because when I tried to lie flat on my back, my knees automatically came up a bit. What's the phrase? For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction? My body is still missing that 6 inches of skin and will need some more time to adjust I think.
Taking out the drain was an interesting sensation. My drain was placed at my right hip, the tube to which it was attached seemed to be somewhere between my left hip and my belly button. It was quite a thing when she pulled it out. I instinctively averted my eyes, but the feeling of it was decidedly icky. She then took her hands and, I believe the polite word is palpated, my abdomen at the hip insicion pushing out as much fluid as she could from the drain's hole. She got me to shift a little onto my right side so that fluid could drain more. As she was touching me I realized that my lower abdomen is pretty much numb. I could feel the pressure, but my skin obviously has not yet reconnected completely to the nerve endings below. I may or may not have complete feeling returned - will have to wait and see.
I looked down my stomach and could kind of see my new belly button which has yet to round out, and my lower, lower stomach which is still a titch swollen even when I'm on my back. She explained that I would be able to shower now (THRILL OF THRILLS!) and that she wanted me to deliberately massage both the new belly button and the hip incision to encourage the sloughing off of the dissolving stitches. The Doc was very impressed with my healing so far. (One of the nurses, Sharon, had told me right after the operation that the surgeon had done a phenomenal job - one of the best results she'd ever seen.)
I asked the Doc about walking. She would really prefer I didn't walk outside the house at all. Which makes me cringe. I kind of offered her a choice about the 3 small walks a day or the one bigger walk a day and she went for the bigger walk earlier on in the day, but still stressed that especially this coming week, because I no longer have the drain in, I need to take it easy or the fluid could build up once more and I might need to be aspirated next week. Aspiration is when they insert a needle into you to release fluid build up. I'm hoping to avoid that particular pleasure. After today I shouldn't really have to worry about the dressing on the drainage hole, it should already be healing over. If fluid does build up this week, I'll call and see if instead of going all the way into Toronto, she might be able to refer me to another surgeon maybe in Peterborough or Whitby.
Even though I had "seen" my stomach I hadn't really LOOKED at it in a mirror until last night after I showed David and Rissa the results. Rissa was pretty grossed out and David was appropriately complimentary and asked what I thought. It then struck me that I hadn't actually looked yet. So I trundled into the bathroom, sidled up to the full-length mirror, eyes half-closed in anticipation... and it's... good. I mean I have a huge honkin' scar at my hip line that's all red, but it's symmetrical, and low. My belly button looks like it is in the right place, albeit a bit hairy because of the sutures still sticking out of it. (Think of your Great Aunt Hilda's ginormous wart.) It looks pretty darned good. It's flat. (Apart from the swollen bits.) My waist has come in a bit. So finally after 12 days of doubting my decision... I'm turning the corner. Now that I'm no longer covered in dried bloody gauze, I can see that this new stomach will eventually be what I had hoped it would be: tight, firm and free of cottage-cheesey squooshiness and elephant ear flappiness.
So this morning I woke early when David when downstairs to do the Wii Fit. I turned on my side in bed to pet our little cat Minuit. I TURNED ON MY SIDE! It was heavenly. I have more energy today and was feeling like I could conquer the world until I went to walk David and Rissa a few blocks and realized that I continue to be woefully shy of my regular walking pace. I walked them to the end of our street then let them proceed on their mobile way and I decided to take the Doc's words to heart about taking it easy and only walked two and a half blocks this morning. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded, the floors are in dire need of a vacuuming, beds should be made, but I shall ignore those calls until people who are able to move get home at the end of the day. Instead I shall write - I'm in the midst of a vampire novel - and seeing as I need to research for that - I'll watch some more True Blood as well.
And see? 13 days out, and I'm beginning to forget the badness... the future begins to look bright.
Cheers!
Heather
Taking out the drain was an interesting sensation. My drain was placed at my right hip, the tube to which it was attached seemed to be somewhere between my left hip and my belly button. It was quite a thing when she pulled it out. I instinctively averted my eyes, but the feeling of it was decidedly icky. She then took her hands and, I believe the polite word is palpated, my abdomen at the hip insicion pushing out as much fluid as she could from the drain's hole. She got me to shift a little onto my right side so that fluid could drain more. As she was touching me I realized that my lower abdomen is pretty much numb. I could feel the pressure, but my skin obviously has not yet reconnected completely to the nerve endings below. I may or may not have complete feeling returned - will have to wait and see.
I looked down my stomach and could kind of see my new belly button which has yet to round out, and my lower, lower stomach which is still a titch swollen even when I'm on my back. She explained that I would be able to shower now (THRILL OF THRILLS!) and that she wanted me to deliberately massage both the new belly button and the hip incision to encourage the sloughing off of the dissolving stitches. The Doc was very impressed with my healing so far. (One of the nurses, Sharon, had told me right after the operation that the surgeon had done a phenomenal job - one of the best results she'd ever seen.)
I asked the Doc about walking. She would really prefer I didn't walk outside the house at all. Which makes me cringe. I kind of offered her a choice about the 3 small walks a day or the one bigger walk a day and she went for the bigger walk earlier on in the day, but still stressed that especially this coming week, because I no longer have the drain in, I need to take it easy or the fluid could build up once more and I might need to be aspirated next week. Aspiration is when they insert a needle into you to release fluid build up. I'm hoping to avoid that particular pleasure. After today I shouldn't really have to worry about the dressing on the drainage hole, it should already be healing over. If fluid does build up this week, I'll call and see if instead of going all the way into Toronto, she might be able to refer me to another surgeon maybe in Peterborough or Whitby.
Even though I had "seen" my stomach I hadn't really LOOKED at it in a mirror until last night after I showed David and Rissa the results. Rissa was pretty grossed out and David was appropriately complimentary and asked what I thought. It then struck me that I hadn't actually looked yet. So I trundled into the bathroom, sidled up to the full-length mirror, eyes half-closed in anticipation... and it's... good. I mean I have a huge honkin' scar at my hip line that's all red, but it's symmetrical, and low. My belly button looks like it is in the right place, albeit a bit hairy because of the sutures still sticking out of it. (Think of your Great Aunt Hilda's ginormous wart.) It looks pretty darned good. It's flat. (Apart from the swollen bits.) My waist has come in a bit. So finally after 12 days of doubting my decision... I'm turning the corner. Now that I'm no longer covered in dried bloody gauze, I can see that this new stomach will eventually be what I had hoped it would be: tight, firm and free of cottage-cheesey squooshiness and elephant ear flappiness.
So this morning I woke early when David when downstairs to do the Wii Fit. I turned on my side in bed to pet our little cat Minuit. I TURNED ON MY SIDE! It was heavenly. I have more energy today and was feeling like I could conquer the world until I went to walk David and Rissa a few blocks and realized that I continue to be woefully shy of my regular walking pace. I walked them to the end of our street then let them proceed on their mobile way and I decided to take the Doc's words to heart about taking it easy and only walked two and a half blocks this morning. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded, the floors are in dire need of a vacuuming, beds should be made, but I shall ignore those calls until people who are able to move get home at the end of the day. Instead I shall write - I'm in the midst of a vampire novel - and seeing as I need to research for that - I'll watch some more True Blood as well.
And see? 13 days out, and I'm beginning to forget the badness... the future begins to look bright.
Cheers!
Heather
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
12 Days Post Op
So today is the day! Fingers crossed the surgeon takes out the dreaded drain at my appointment! Should be fine because I've had less than 30ccs in the sucker for at least 6 days now and apparently all you have to have is 2 days in a row with 30 ccs or less.
Yesterday I walked Rissa and David three blocks towards her school and then David sent me home. I might have walked another small block on the way but he doesn't have to know that. I swear that I'm not being stupid, I mean I am pretty sure that a snail could outpace me at this point, but I need to move, even as slowly as I am. And yes, I will be discussing this with the surgeon so that I don't do more damage. And this morning, I quelled my urge to walk all the way to the marina, I just walked to King Street and back.
Even though it is more than likely that I will be given the okay to shower today I couldn't stand it any longer and yesterday afternoon I had my hair washed properly at my salon. Having Rebecca scrub my scalp was better than sex, I swear by all that is holy. Plus I got a good trim which makes me feel a little bit more human. This field trip allowed me the opportunity to do a couple of things. I drove to the salon so that I'd be home in time to meet Rissa after school and I had to gently maneuver myself in and out of the hair-washing chair. Driving was a bit interesting, but I'm glad that I figured out the kinks so that when I head to Toronto today I'll know what not to do. Turning corners too fast puts stress on the tummy. Changing the radio station puts stress on the tummy. Reaching for the rear-view mirror puts stress on the tummy.
Posture by the end of the day yesterday wasn't terrible. This operation may actually help with my habit of leading from my hips - I have always had a tendency to arch my back a little too much and that is simply an impossibility at present. I went grocery shopping with David while Rissa was at dance last night. I was fine pushing the cart with the breads, crackers and other light items in it, but when we added the soy milk and juices? I had to relinquish my helm. I was also permitted to lift the bag that held the bread. Do you know how difficult it is NOT to pick stuff up? It's making me crazy. I can't unload the bottom rack of the dishwasher because it's too much bending. I can't put things in the cereal cupboard. I had to ask David to set the grocery bags up on the kitchen island for me so that I could at least put cans into the pantry. The things that are presently on the floor in my house have to stay on the floor. I could sweep, but then I wouldn't be able to use the dust pan to pick it up. So my OCD about tidying is in hyperdrive. Reclining on a chaise longue pointing at my family and ordering them around is not my idea of a good time. David mentioned that we'll need to do our fall yard work pretty soon, the temperature's already dropping. I'm not going to be up for it and that makes me feel guilty, although I'm sure that Rissa will love the opportunity to help in the garden cut down all the perennials for me.
Yesterday, by day's end, I was feeling markedly closer to my old self. Which is fantastic, but I fully recognize that I still shouldn't overdo it or I may ruin what progress I've made. We watched Studio 60 on the couch after Rissa went to bed and Colby, my 16.5 lb cat, gently climbed upon me and we got to have our first post op snuggle. I have never in my life had a cat who can make me so happy. When he plants himself on me and butts at my chin with his head and purrs and does the kneading with his lynx-like paws, honestly? I'm ecstatic. Such a little thing, but it's the best way ever to end a day (well that and really mind-blowing sex, but that's not going to be cleared for take off for at least another couple of wees) and for the past 11 days I haven't had that snuggling. He wanted another snuggle at 4:00 am which wasn't quite as thrilling. I woke in a bit of discomfort because I had slid down the pillows a bit and was a little too flat on my back and had an extra 16.5 lbs on me. Took some more Advil, propped myself up higher once more upon my wedge pillow and managed to get another 3 hours of sleep.
It takes approx. 1 hour and 25 minutes to get to the surgeon's office. I confirmed the appointment time and that I'm to meet at her office and not the surgical facility. David has reminded me 4 times over the past 15 hours that I allow myself lots of time to get there. So that means I should be leaving two hours beforehand, plus a little extra time for my speed of sloth walking. Which means I should be leaving pretty much... now.
Cheers!
Heather
Yesterday I walked Rissa and David three blocks towards her school and then David sent me home. I might have walked another small block on the way but he doesn't have to know that. I swear that I'm not being stupid, I mean I am pretty sure that a snail could outpace me at this point, but I need to move, even as slowly as I am. And yes, I will be discussing this with the surgeon so that I don't do more damage. And this morning, I quelled my urge to walk all the way to the marina, I just walked to King Street and back.
Even though it is more than likely that I will be given the okay to shower today I couldn't stand it any longer and yesterday afternoon I had my hair washed properly at my salon. Having Rebecca scrub my scalp was better than sex, I swear by all that is holy. Plus I got a good trim which makes me feel a little bit more human. This field trip allowed me the opportunity to do a couple of things. I drove to the salon so that I'd be home in time to meet Rissa after school and I had to gently maneuver myself in and out of the hair-washing chair. Driving was a bit interesting, but I'm glad that I figured out the kinks so that when I head to Toronto today I'll know what not to do. Turning corners too fast puts stress on the tummy. Changing the radio station puts stress on the tummy. Reaching for the rear-view mirror puts stress on the tummy.
Posture by the end of the day yesterday wasn't terrible. This operation may actually help with my habit of leading from my hips - I have always had a tendency to arch my back a little too much and that is simply an impossibility at present. I went grocery shopping with David while Rissa was at dance last night. I was fine pushing the cart with the breads, crackers and other light items in it, but when we added the soy milk and juices? I had to relinquish my helm. I was also permitted to lift the bag that held the bread. Do you know how difficult it is NOT to pick stuff up? It's making me crazy. I can't unload the bottom rack of the dishwasher because it's too much bending. I can't put things in the cereal cupboard. I had to ask David to set the grocery bags up on the kitchen island for me so that I could at least put cans into the pantry. The things that are presently on the floor in my house have to stay on the floor. I could sweep, but then I wouldn't be able to use the dust pan to pick it up. So my OCD about tidying is in hyperdrive. Reclining on a chaise longue pointing at my family and ordering them around is not my idea of a good time. David mentioned that we'll need to do our fall yard work pretty soon, the temperature's already dropping. I'm not going to be up for it and that makes me feel guilty, although I'm sure that Rissa will love the opportunity to help in the garden cut down all the perennials for me.
Yesterday, by day's end, I was feeling markedly closer to my old self. Which is fantastic, but I fully recognize that I still shouldn't overdo it or I may ruin what progress I've made. We watched Studio 60 on the couch after Rissa went to bed and Colby, my 16.5 lb cat, gently climbed upon me and we got to have our first post op snuggle. I have never in my life had a cat who can make me so happy. When he plants himself on me and butts at my chin with his head and purrs and does the kneading with his lynx-like paws, honestly? I'm ecstatic. Such a little thing, but it's the best way ever to end a day (well that and really mind-blowing sex, but that's not going to be cleared for take off for at least another couple of wees) and for the past 11 days I haven't had that snuggling. He wanted another snuggle at 4:00 am which wasn't quite as thrilling. I woke in a bit of discomfort because I had slid down the pillows a bit and was a little too flat on my back and had an extra 16.5 lbs on me. Took some more Advil, propped myself up higher once more upon my wedge pillow and managed to get another 3 hours of sleep.
It takes approx. 1 hour and 25 minutes to get to the surgeon's office. I confirmed the appointment time and that I'm to meet at her office and not the surgical facility. David has reminded me 4 times over the past 15 hours that I allow myself lots of time to get there. So that means I should be leaving two hours beforehand, plus a little extra time for my speed of sloth walking. Which means I should be leaving pretty much... now.
Cheers!
Heather
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