14 Days Post Op

I just stepped from my first shower. Bliss! Unadulterated warm watered bliss! Amidst the unadulterated warm watered bliss I had a minor, (okay, major) case of the ICKS. Had not realized the extent to which my stomach was numb. I mean, it's REALLY numb. I was reaching down to wash my belly button as instructed by the Doc and I can't feel my belly button. I'm touching my own body and I can't feel it. It's giving me the heebie jeebies. David had to wash my incision and I just looked away so I would hurl my dinner on him. I don't know why it's so creepy, but it's really freakin' creepy. I can remember getting this feeling to a lesser extent with the inch long scar that I have on my ankle when I would touch it, but this? This is creeperiffic. I'm not sure, but I think that David was looking at me in both exasperation and disbelief. I might be projecting.

Rissa's pretty grossed out and definitely has that "My mother is a medical experiment gone bad" vibe going on. She has reiterated a half a dozen times since seeing the results that she will NOT be having a tummy tuck. EVER. Although she has said it is neat that I'm her own personal crash test dummy - I get to try out all the really dumb stuff so that she doesn't have to. Took pictures of the "after" - will post them soon. I'm still swollen, especially on my lower tummy and my pubic bone. I'm thinking that tonight I will put an ice pack on my pubic bone at least. There is also some swelling and minor bruising on my hips and (TMI coming up here) I think that the binder might be rubbing away some of my pubic hair. The incision is as nice as a 20 inch (I'm guessing) incision can look at 2 weeks out. It's got a little curve to it that I kind of like and should I decide to turn it into a 20 inch tattooo it could look pretty cool - I'm thinking vines... (really I'm NOT).

Last night I had my first rehearsal for Sweeney Todd where I play the role of the Beggar Woman. All I had to do was sit and sing for 2 1/2 hours. Well that and I had to climb 3 sets of stairs to get to the rehearsal hall. By the end of it I was exhausted. More exhausted than at any other point in this process. I was trying not to use my diaphragm to sing, but there's really no way that you can do that. I begged for a ride home in spite of the fact that it's only a five minute walk. You know I'm toast when I voluntarily ask for help. I crashed upon returning home and it took me a while to get up this morning.

I went for a small walk this morning and had lunch with a friend at a great Thai place in town. I took my substantial leftovers home. That's something else that has changed. Because my muscles are so tight across my stomach, I'm not eating as much now. I simply can't. I mean, not that I was a big gorger before (apart from around my period) but now a cup of soup and some crackers can really fill me up. So that's a good side effect. Also, taking multi-vitamins three times a day is wrecking havoc with my digestion - half the time I'm combatting nausea.

I think tomorrow I'm going to try not doing anything and see if that helps with the swelling. No walks around the block, no climbing stairs all day, no squatting to feed the cats... And then I'll just see. I'll see if that makes a difference with the swelling or if this is just how my recovery is supposed to be. In about 4 weeks time I have the opportunity to do a clowning workshop with my old Shakespeare company in Ottawa. According to the Doc I should be healed with no worries of hurting myself at that point - just no situps - and should be able to manage depending on my stamina. I really want to do this workshop. I haven't done any acting training in over a decade and it'd be really nice to flex those muscles once more and even better to do it with old friends. As long as I can sit down whenever I need to I should be okay I think - I'd really like to try.

Last night David gave me my first official music lesson on the piano. I've always wanted to learn to read music properly, so last night I started. A scale is this: tone, tone, semi-tone, tone, tone, tone, semi-tone. I can now tell you where all the "c" notes and "f" notes are on the piano. This morning I took some music paper and I started naming the notes on the staff. Over and over again I wrote out EGBDF and FACE. This healing process where I'm not allowed to do anything truly active? It's offering me the opportunity to do something that I've been putting off for years. Today I found a couple of web sites that have training tools that quiz you on notes and key signatures and I must have spent 2 hours testing myself. Today I learned the bass clef and the treble clef and that's pretty cool, I've got to say. And if I didn't have this medically imposed respite? I might not have ever tried this.

We're heading to my parents' place for Thanksgiving. They live 2 1/4 hours away so I'll get to tilt my seat back and recline all the way there. I have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful to be alive. I'm thankful that my recuperation is getting better and better. I'm thankful to my surgeon who did a pretty amazing job I think - even at this early stage. I'm thankful for my amazing husband and daughter and mother and all my friends and family who have been incredibly supportive during this experience.

Cheers!
Heather